The Social Deep Blog"Life is so much more than the white-washed perspective of some ID-driven ape." |
Where to Begin In my line of work, spirituality is a common topic of conversation. When dealing with trauma, it can be difficult to know where to turn or whom to trust and it can become debilitating learning to identify red flags of manipulation and genuine empathy. When you grow up being told that the people who are hurting you love you and want what’s best for you, those red flags become impossible to see. During the healing journey, an individual steps into their light and begins to see the blinders and identify errors in thinking that have perpetuated unhealthy patterns. This new perspective of their life and of their being, while promising and full of limitless potential, is terrifying. A new sense of vulnerability overwhelms the vulnerability they’ve known, and it’s that newness that is so intimidating. There is a strange comfort that exists in even the most toxic of familiar spaces. The demons you know become safer than the angels you cannot be certain exist. Looking into an uncharted and boundless future has a way of emphasizing how small some may feel, after trauma, yes, of course, but also as a symptom of shyness. The world seems so big when you feel so painfully small – and considering the notions of some omnipotent parental being having watched it all happen without interference sows trust issues on a whole new level. One could argue that there are extreme denominations of any religion that may result in religious trauma, and they would of course be correct. There will forever be outlier extremists that ruin the reputation of congregations and pervert the tenets on which the faith is founded.
If the Shoe Fits, Wear It Although it is never my intention to be sacrilegious, I’ve also been told that I can be abrasive and opinionated—were I apt to value the opinions of people that aren’t feeding, fucking, or financing me, I may be offended; humorously, those tone policing and ridiculing my communication skills are infrequently doing any of those things. With that being said, I would like to explore a ‘shower thought’ I had recently regarding the sensitive subject of religion and while I will be candid, please know that this is not meant to provide anything more than thought. But if I do happen to hurt your feelings…look inward. Often times when something offends us it’s because we see an undesirable reflection of ourselves in the statement. As much as we would like to deny it, truly looking at ourselves through an unfiltered lens is much easier said than done. We take things personally and internalize the projections of those who wish only to see us succeed less than them. To be perfectly honest, I could probably write this entire essay in vague examples delivered in a passive-aggressive (if not elegant) tone without ever once mentioning specific examples. Could; perhaps. However, I see no good reason to pussyfoot around reality. In the Western world, there are simply too few logical conclusions to be made regardless of how vague and passive the delivery is. Also, I loathe social etiquette that requires blurring the lines of personal integrity or walking on eggshells. I much prefer respectfully direct exchanges; they make for more productive interactions and reduce the social exhaustion I experience with prolonged exposure. Unfortunately, mutually respectful, and direct exchanges are far too rare. So, while I could put in the extra effort to navigate the sensitive constitution of every Tom, Dick, and Karen who would rather center themselves and fixate on how my words located a sore spot…I won’t be. Geographic Prominence In the Western world, Christianity has a checkered reputation no matter, which way you twist it. As I’m sure you’ve inferred by now, it will be one of the primary (and generalized) references made moving forward, and yes, it will be from an outsider’s perspective. However, that does not mean that there is some underlying malice for the core theological philosophy. On the contrary, I very much value the moral virtues that guide followers in their spiritual relationship with their chosen deity. However, the path I walk runs parallel and, therefore, offers an objective perspective founded on experience and moral inventory. The agency I work for is affiliated with the Lutheran church, so much so that we have a chapel on campus with service every Sunday and the pastor is available most days. Chapel is optional but encouraged on Sundays, and there are grief and other spiritual groups available as well. We have some kids who ask to go, but we have a fair amount of them who recoil at the mention of it. No Hate Like Christian Love As a non-Christian, I have become a bit of a safe space for those questioning their faith or spiritual path, for adults and adolescents alike. I’ve also had the pleasure of befriending one of the truest Christians I’ve ever known, with whom I have some of the most respectful theological conversations. My relationship with them, and others like them, is offered as evidence that what I am about to say is not meant to negate a genuine relationship with their higher power. (Because I’m about to get a little critical.) The saying there’s no hate like Christian love is well known among non-Christians. For those unaware, the phrase more or less notes the irony and solicitation of the word. What kind of parent punishes their child(ren) to an eternity of damnation for adultery, but stands back and allows genocide? Not a good one. So, why would it be okay for a god? Moral Compass Calibration In 1992, Sinead O’Connor ripped up a picture of the pope during her SNL performance, and her career in America was over. Later, her message rang clear and now resonates everywhere. That “stunt” was a demonstration of protest against the Catholic church for protecting pedophile priests, clergy, and congregation members. Sadly, she’s no longer here for anyone to issue a formal apology that she wouldn’t even want because she understood that people were not ready to receive the message she delivered. She and the victims that continue to be dismissed and blamed for the actions of men in authority deserve reparations of some kind, but I digress. There is an overwhelming amount of Christians who, when asked why do we need (your) god?, will respond with he teaches us right from wrong. Okay, I’ll bite – what exactly does the Christian god teach us? The lessons I learned from him were authoritative, controlling, wrought with double standards, demeaning – I’ve found him to be quite the contrarian. His son teaches us something healthier, at least: be kind, be generous, be modest, be honest. I can get behind these lessons and I think any empathetic person inherently embodies these tenets as a baseline, even if the expression varies. So, do we need Jesus to tell us to not be a dick and his big bad sky daddy to threaten eternal damnation if we break the rules? I’m just gonna say it. If you need the threat of eternal damnation to not rape, murder, steal, or beat your wife and kids (which is still actually condoned in some sects of the religion), are you actually a good person? Think about it. Religion is for Those Who Fear Hell I have said that I am non-Christian, but I haven’t elaborated. Non-Christian is not anti-Christian; if Christianity guides you and helps you evolve into a healthier and more empathetic person, nothing I have to say should ever shake your faith. I simply feel that gluing oneself to religion is based on so little introspective exploration when things are offensive. Religion is a philosophy by which humans can relate and build a spiritual connection to their creation and demise. Some build that connection through the word of Jesus Christ, some say Brahma is the creator of the universe some remain loyal to Odin, and still others believe in a spaghetti monster, the list continues. Those are only the more well-known references. There are legitimately thousands of religions many of which are significantly older than Jesus, as described in the King James Version (as that is the more commonly referenced edition, in my experience). Regardless, most, if not all, religions are founded on the same general core values. It isn’t until we look at the commandments/laws or practices within each religion that we begin to see real differences. Truth be told, the Christian church stole many of their practices from Pagans as a means to convert “heathens” and “savages” and control and oppress free-spirited women (but, I again digress). When the debate is semantics, what are we fighting about? Eve did not consume the fruit of the tree of knowledge for nothing. It is entirely possible to build your connection to creation and destruction as you see fit, and let others do the same without impeding on their peace. Thanks for reading! |
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